Updated: Dec 28, 2022
Well, our last meandering was a little hard to read for some, I heard from some of you that what I was asking was impossible. My response back was: “It is impossible - do it anyway.”
In all of my client work, the piece that continues to show up for each and every one of them is the idea of Legacy Burdens and Legacy Heirlooms. That is, the burdens and heirlooms we carry that were passed on from our ancestors. Some simple examples of this can be found in the “men don’t cry” or the “you run like a girl” narrative. But many of these are significantly deeper.
You can feel these even in your own bones today if you sit quietly enough for long enough.
So, when your great, great grandchildren begin to tell their children the story of their ancestors, what will they say?
“Old grandpa Adam was the meanest man ever to run a company. He may have landed a shuttle on Mars but he went down in history as one of worst bosses so we had to change our last name to Smith.” Or will they say “Poor great grandma Amber, she died holding onto to so much pain that your grandmother never truly had a sense of what happiness felt like before she died by suicide when I was 10 years old.”
And while these stories may not be relatable to your sphere of reality - there is one out there for you too. There is a story that is just waiting for young hearts to ask the big question "what was great great grandma like?"
So with that, I leave this in your bow wave, what burdens will you be able to pick out of those dusty archives and turn into heirlooms?
It not only is a tough question, you could feel grossly ill-equipped to take on such a harsh realities and in my estimation the tougher and harsher it feels the more deeply it is required.
There isn't a lot of information out there on Legacy Burdens and Heirlooms. My recommendation is to follow along here for more posts on this specifically, it really is some of my favourite work. I also recommend checking out Legacy Resolutions with Internal Family System Therapy or reach out direct to me and I can help you find the right fit for you.