So often at midlife, we stand still for a moment and look back on what we have accomplished and it is often
the first time many of us recognize all that we have had to overcome and the change we have laboured through. We have worked hard to climb the corporate ladder, to manoeuvre through the messiness of misogyny, raised a family, integrated into our partnerships and kept a mostly clean home. By any patriarchal standard, we are full of green check marks and standing ovations.
So why are so many women feeling discontent at midlife and what can we do to begin feeling pleasure and satisfaction again?
How can we connect back to who we were before we decided to fit in? This is absolutely the time for deeper self-discovery and you have never been more prepared to do so. The hurdle most of us face however is how? We are so used to fitting in that we often forget to check-in. We are so used to moving forward, we forget what we have left behind.
Rest assured, not all is lost. You do not need to throw everything into the air and start over! But we don't want to integrate better. We do need to trust ourselves enough to connect back to who we are.
To remember ourselves home.
Honour What Was Left Behind
Success can be intoxicating, all-consuming, and exhilarating. It's easy to get swept up in the hustle, sacrificing sleep, relationships, and hobbies in the quest for more. But what did you give up along the way? What did you ignore to reach the top of the ladder? And even more importantly, what are you longing for?
When I first ask clients this question I get the same answers: rest, slowness, simplicity, and less responsibility. But if we were to dig into what that looks like for you there is often a story of something that was left behind. A people-pleasing martyr tale about a forgotten passion and secret longing or a deep trauma never whispered before.
These stories need to be tended to, nourished and honoured back into a place of importance. I often recommend that these stories are written out. That by taking up one of your lost passions and telling it as a story, from a 3rd person's perspective, you can look into the story and discover what is missing. Tell the story again and truly hear it for the first time again.
Remember Yourself Home
Throughout our busy lives, it's easy to forget who we are and what truly matters. We may ignore certain aspects of ourselves in order to fit in or meet societal expectations. However, it's important to take a step back and remember who we were before we began conforming to others. By honouring what we left behind, we can reconnect with our true selves and feel empowered to live a more authentic life. So take some time to reflect on what you may have forgotten or ignored, and remember yourself at home.
It's not uncommon to feel a sense of uselessness or loss of understanding as the world around us moves at an ever-increasing pace. With technology constantly evolving and society rapidly changing, it can be easy to feel left behind. But it's important to remember that we all have the power to learn and grow, to transition from what we are to what we will become. The key is to approach this transition with both intelligence and compassion for ourselves. We must acknowledge that it's okay to feel lost or uncertain, while also recognizing the potential for growth and new opportunities. By embracing this mindset, we can navigate the challenges of change and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.
A New Relationship with Change
Change in today's world can appear daunting and overwhelming, but it's important to remember that it can also signify growth and progress. As experienced individuals, we have already encountered countless changes in our lives and have developed the ability to adapt and navigate through them. Trusting ourselves to pivot our careers and embrace new opportunities can be challenging and honestly, humbling.
Can we embrace the idea that change may look different than it did in the past because we have different goals in mind? Maybe we can begin with a curiosity for growth, rather than the next level up the org chart? It means putting ego aside a little - which, I know, is hard. It means that we aren't looking to be special but that we are looking to learn and grow.
I had a client who was a vice president at one of the top 5 banks here in Canada. She was truly done inside the corporate world and decided to take her amazing people leadership skills and work for an expedition/travel company at a managerial level. It was an environment she has always loved being in, it allowed her to travel and hike in locations she had dreamed about and the company loved what she brought to the team.
You don't need to rise through the ranks, you can expand in more dynamic ways.
Trusting Yourself
Trusting yourself can be an intimate and powerful experience. You know deep down that you are capable of great things, but sometimes it can be difficult to act on that knowledge in meaningful ways. It's important to connect with yourself and tap into your intuition when making decisions but it's easier said than done isn't it. We are trained to evaluate our desires in particular ways that sometimes leave us feeling the creep of imposter syndrome. So how can you begin to trust yourself in new ways? I often ask clients to start in the body. To tell me their hardest truths and where the emotion sits in their body. To move with emotion and create art symbolizing what they felt. To connect to another voice...
By trusting yourself, you are empowered to take charge of your life and create a path that aligns with your values. It's a beautiful thing to feel centred in your own truth and live from a place of truly knowing. To feel trust in the ground you stand on, in the core of your heart. To be able to say yes from that place.
Practicing New Ways
Imagine feeling empowered in your everyday life, simply by changing the way you interact with the world around you. It's not about turning your life upside down or completely reinventing yourself. It's about practicing new ways in a world you already know. It's about tapping into your sensual side and embracing the power that comes with it. By doing so, you can confidently navigate your daily interactions, knowing that you are in control of your experiences. So go ahead and try it - practice those new ways and let yourself be empowered in a way that feels both natural and deeply satisfying.
As an ecosystem, you have your own unique ways of expressing yourself. By exploring, discovering and learning the ways that allow you to transition from who you are to who you will become, you can take back the reins and decide what that looks like for yourself. Connecting to your innermost self is of utmost importance in developing deep roots of knowing and trusting in yourself, and then practice these new habits into a life that is fulfilling to you. Along with doing this work on your own, joining The Legacy Project can be an incredible opportunity to build powerful strategies and strategies with a community of creatives who share the same principles and vision. As we move forward together, let us continue creating a world filled with wonder by trusting ourselves completely.